Batterers are as diverse as the victims of domestic violence, but what is most similar about batterers is the use of power and control as the main tactics in their abusive behavior.
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2. Blames others for his faults and circumstances for his problems
3. Demonstrates unpredictable behavior
4. Verbally belittles his partner
5. Always asks for another chance
6. Says he will change
7. Plays on his partner’s guilt and love
8. Closed-Minded – His way or no way
9. Seems charming to outsiders
10. Abuses (physically, verbally, and/or sexually) his children
11. Regards his violent behavior as acceptable
12. Angry with other women
13. Believes in rigid gender roles
14. Isolates partner from family and friends
15. Controls where partner goes and who partner sees
Although both men and women can be abusers, approximately 97% of all batterers are men. Abuse is often a learned behavior. The person who uses any form of violence to control or manipulate a partner often has low self-esteem, may refuse to accept responsibility for the violence, and may believe the violence is justified. Often the batterer will try to excuse the behavior or blame the victim for causing it. The tendency to use abuse as a control tactic is aggravated by the use of drugs and alcohol. Overcoming a substance abuse problem, however, does not usually end the abusive behavior. Batterers can overcome abusive behavior through the appropriate treatment and counseling, separate from their substance abuse treatment.
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