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400 rally in Neenah at Fox Valley Voices of Men event against domestic violence

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Ben rocks! www.VoicesofMen.org

Voices of Men pledge

The White Ribbon Campaign Pledge, taken by about 400 Fox Valley area men Tuesday, reads: "I pledge never to commit, condone or remain silent about men's violence against women and girls."

http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20100113/APC0101/1130492/1979/APCent/400-men-rally-against-domestic-violence

January 13, 2010

400 rally in Neenah at Fox Valley Voices of Men event against domestic violence

By Michael King
Post-Crescent staff writer

NEENAH — A seed that was planted nearly three years ago started to bloom Tuesday as 400 Fox Valley men pledged to help end domestic violence.

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A rally, organized by nonprofit Fox Valley Voices of Men, spread the message of breaking down societal norms and positively influencing the outlook of the next generation of boys and young men toward women.

"This is a historic event here in Appleton," said Tony Porter, author, activist and co-founder of A Call to Men, a national organization that takes on domestic and sexual violence by promoting healthy manhood. "To have 400 interested, concerned male citizens in a room at one time to address domestic violence and sexual violence, violence against women, it's historic."

Porter's message illustrated how the "collective socialization" of men as the strong, aggressive protector, without weakness or emotion (except anger) has led to a society where men place lower value and lower expectations on females. That's especially evident when men don't stand up to domestic violence or sexual abuse or comments that degrade or objectify women, giving "bad guys" tacit support through silence.

"We don't want to be outside the (man) box," Porter said, a reference to his book, "Breaking Out of 'The Man Box,'" that calls on "well-meaning men" to help enact social change. "So, we're hostage to it. In this case, men's silence is affirming."

The event was a kickoff to a series of community activities geared to help end men's violence against women. Opportunities include: mentoring programs for boys and men; video discussions or speeches at workplaces; simulation workshops; video presentations and discussions at sports team practices; participation in community presentations at churches, clubs or other events; and linkings of support agencies with work places.

"To see this kind of momentum in the Valley, to see this kind of commitment from men, to have this many good men step up and say we want to help women end this … is phenomenal," said Lyn Beyer, executive director Reach Counseling Services.

The effort really started to galvanize in April 2007 effort when actor Ben Atherton-Zeman brought his play "Voices of Men" to four local high schools thanks to the combined advocacy of officials with domestic abuse shelters Harbor House and Christine Ann Center, Reach Counseling and the Sexual Assault Crisis Center Fox Cities. His message of ending men's violence against women struck a chord and, Beyer said, "planted the seed."

Shannon Kenevan, of Appleton, program team leader at Harmony Cafe, became involved in Voices of Men early on. Last May, he saw Porter speak at the national A Call to Men convention in New York City.

"I'm a father of two young girls," Kenevan said. "I want the world to be different for them once they're older. I want it to be different right now, and I think men need to step up and make those changes to end domestic abuse and end sexual violence against women."

"I have four daughters so this is a near and dear topic to me as well," said Ben Fauske, of Sherwood, who attended the event. As an associate pastor at Pathways Church in Appleton, Fauske said he plans to use Voices of Men as a training opportunity.

"It's a huge need in our church to educate and understand the roles of men and women," he said. "We're going to bring this into our church and talk about it and how this applies."

Speaking on behalf of all nonprofit agencies that need volunteers, John Dery, executive director, Neenah Boys' and Girls' Brigade, promoted mentorship.

"There aren't enough men (volunteers)," he said. "Boys need to see you, they need to spend time with you, they need to know your values, they need to see you respecting a woman. Many boys don't have that in their life."

Kathleen Lhost, executive director of the Sexual Assault Crisis Center, urged the men to "think about how you can step up and make a difference.

"Many women who have experienced men's violence feel so isolated and alone," Lhost said. "Any action that you take, any time you speak up, any time you step up, makes a huge difference in the lives of those women."

Additional Facts

Voices of Men pledge

The White Ribbon Campaign Pledge, taken by about 400 Fox Valley area men Tuesday, reads: "I pledge never to commit, condone or remain silent about men's violence against women and girls."

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